 | I don't need to prove myself in this situation. I can stay calm. |
| As long as I keep my cool, I'm in control of myself. |
| No need to doubt myself, what other people say doesn't matter. I'm the
only person who can make me mad or keep me calm. |
| Time to relax and slow things down. Take a time-out if I get uptight
or start to notice my cues. |
| My anger is a signal. Time to talk to myself and to relax. |
| I don't need to feel threatened here. I can relax and stay cool. |
| Nothing says I have to be competent and strong all the time. Its okay
to feel unsure or confused. |
| Its impossible to control other people and situations. The ONLY thing
that I can control is myself and how I express my feelings. |
| Its okay to be uncertain or insecure sometimes. I don't need to be in
control of everything and everybody. |
| If people criticize me, I can survive that. Nothing says that I have
to be perfect. |
| If this person wants to go off the wall that's their thing. I don't
need to feel threatened. |
| When I get into an argument, I can use my control plan and know what
to do. I can take a time-out. |
| Most things we argue about are stupid and insignificant. I can
recognize that my anger can come from having old feelings brought back.
Its okay to walk away from this fight. |
| It's nice to have other people 's love and approval, but even without
it, I can still accept and like MYSELF. |
| People put erasers on the end of pencils for a reason: its okay to
make mistakes. |
| People are going to act the way they want to, not the way I want. |
| I feel angry, that means I have been hurt, scared, or have some other
primary feeling. |
Conflict Resolution:
Conflict is INEVITABLE.
It results when people have differences.
Examples:
Differing perspectives.
Differing philosophies, beliefs, and values.
Differing ways of behaving.
Conflict Occurs:
When we think our differences are in opposition.
Clashing emotional needs (pride vs. respect).
Limited resources or opportunities (enough for only one person).
Unclear roles, boundaries, responsibilities (is this your job or mine?).
If you approach a conflict with a win/win attitude RESOLUTION IS POSSIBLE
Because:
People's feelings are considered.
It is based on the idea that there are many solutions, with the best one
meeting both parties needs.
People are motivated to carry out decisions that they have helped to
develop.
The solutions are creative.
It reduces hostility and strengthens relationships.
It helps people get to the real problem by encouraging them to communicate
their needs and not just their point of view.
